BECOME HR CERTIFIED

Classes to prepare for the SPHR/PHR Certification Exam will begin on Tuesday, September 9, 2008 and will be held every Tuesday through November 25, 2008 from 6 to 9 p.m.

Click here for more information.
Call 904-861-2903


I NEED BAIL MONEY!!!

On August 21, I will be arrested if I don’t have $3,200.  I would rather turn myself in and I need your help.

The Muscular Dystrophy Association will be locking me up if I don’t have the bail money before August 21.

Here’s the deal – There are about 2,500 people who subscribe to this newsletter.  If 320 of the subscribers give $10.00 each, I’ll have my bail.  If you want to donate more – I’m OK with that too.

Click here with your pledge.  THANK YOU!!

Bob McKenzie

New I-9 Form

If you are still using the I-9 form that states expires 6/30/08, you probably need to update your new hire forms. 
Click here for the New I-9 form.

Federal Minimum Wage Increases

Just a reminder that the new Federal Minimum Wage will increase to $6.55 per hour effective July 24, 2008.


Beaches Habitat for Humanity

Bob McKenzie was recently named to the Board of Directors of the Beaches habitat for Humanity.

 

A New and Improved
ASK BOB

For no charge you have the opportunity to ask human resources related questions of Bob McKenzie, President of McKenzieHR

To ASK Bob click here

 

Contact Information

4237 Salisbury Rd, Bld 1, Suite 112
Jacksonville, FL 32216

Phone: (904) 861-2903

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Human Resources Strange But True People Stories

The economy is in the pits and things are not looking good for a number of businesses.  So it is time now to add a little bright spot to the doom and gloom forecasts.  Below are a few anecdotes from people in the working world.

  • A man gets fired for not passing a drug test and filed for unemployment which was declined. He appealed the decision. His defense was that the employer knew he was doing drugs all along, so it was their fault for hiring him in the first place. By the way, the appeals referee found in favor of the employer.  Common sense may still be alive in some places.

  • During a business slowdown, an employee’s hours were reduced. He was still working 40 hours per week, but was no longer working overtime.  He files for unemployment because his hours were reduced. The unemployment office sends the required paper work to the employer, but there is no box to check on the unemployment form for “still employed full time.”  The employer had to state such in the remarks section.  Will the fact that no box was checked on the form create a wave of confusion at the unemployment office?  Only time will tell.

  • A press operator gets fired for unsatisfactory work performance.  The next day, he comes into the human resources office with a hat, glasses and a fake mustache stating that he heard there was a job opening and he has experience as a press operator.

  • To set this up, a woman asked for time off to attend a birthday celebration.  The request was denied because other employees already had the same day off.  The woman tried to appeal to her supervisor why she should be granted the day off. The conversation went something like this:

    Woman:        I asked for the day off two weeks ago.  Why can’t I take the time off?
    Supervisor:   The time off request had not been approved.  Other employees requested the time off months ago.
    Woman:        What if I called in sick that day?
    Supervisor:   You would be subject to disciplinary action.
    Woman:        What would happen if my grandmother died? 
    Supervisor:   That’s not the issue. You told me you were going to a birthday celebration, so you are expected to come to work that day. 
    Woman:        Well my grandmother could die.
    Supervisor:   Yes she could, but that is not the reason you asked for the day off.
    Woman:        My grandmother is 88 years old and she could possibly die.
    Supervisor:   Let me know if your grandmother dies, but if this happens I will need proof.
    Woman (crying): My grandmother will probably die soon and you don’t even care.

  • Below are excerpts for a cover letter from an applicant:

“In my past employment, I did experience some lack of development and experience issues as the employers were large and well known who had many young people of superstar caliber to choose from. … They seemed to get work without much trouble while I seemed to need to ask and be hopeful.  I also had trouble with my mother as she was not very supportive or interested in my life situation. She may have been hostile as well. As a result, I found myself needing to behave properly until it was time to leave these employers.

In addition, my most recent employer was bizarre. The owner was a former criminal and he may still have these problems.  He also may have been a racist as I saw him put a young black woman in a back room with flies, roaches and rats. He later put her in an adjacent room to mine where she could kind of see me all day. Due to my young man’s situation still and lack of experience and not being married, I did conclude that my boss may have some sexual harassment issues. …Because of my young man’s body type, I did find myself in a contradiction as I seem to have trouble with young women understanding my body the wrong way. Their bodies are built to unfortunately understand the wrong sexual thing.  In summary, I may need to be around people who I am more immune to such as older woman or most men. I can be reached at the above address or telephone number if you would like to discuss any employment opportunities.”

Yeah. Wait by your telephone. We’ll call you when we need you.  


Share your stories with us and we’ll re-print them next month.  The name of the company will not be revealed.  Send them to me at bobm@mckenziehr.com.

Have a great rest of the summer and do not hesitate to contact us to take care of your Human Resources needs.

Bob McKenzie
President
McKenzieHR

potential@mckenziehr.com

 

June 2008
HR Compliance Issues at the Forefront
May 2008
Performance Management Never Stops
April 2008
Don’t Make Tough Times Tougher
March 2008
What Ever Happened to the Personal Touch?
December 2007
It's That Time of Year Again
November 2007
HR Hot Topic #3 - Immigration
September 2007 -
HR Hot Topic #2 - Controlling the Cost of Medical Benefits
August 2007 -
HR Hot Topic #1 Recruitment and Retention
June 2007 -
Strategic Human Resources is Not an Oxymoron
May 2007 -
Is It Really a Hostile Work Environment?
April 2007 -
What happens after a new employee is hired?
March 2007 -
SHIFT HAPPENS
February 2007 -
Imagine
January 2007 -
Discrimination & Harassment
December 2006 -
ITíS BEEN A HECK OF A YEAR
October 2006 -
The Why Label Generation Y?
September 2006 -
The World of Recruitment Has Changed
August 2006 -
Keep Your "A" Players
July 2006 -
Traits of a High Performance Workplace
June 2006 -
Is a Mediocre Employee Better Than No Employee?
May 2006 -
The Compliance Vultures are Circling – Are You Prepared?
April 2006 -
Is Administrivia Keeping HR from Getting a Seat at the Table?
March 2006 -
Agreeing to Disagree or Avoiding the Subject
February 2006 -
Happy Valentine's Day
January 2006 -
Be a Talent Magnet and a Talent Utilizer